Doug Hutchinson and Courtney Stodden

I can admit, even though I am slightly ashamed that I am caught up in this Doug Hutchinson and Courtney Stodden marriage scandal. After watching Anderson Cooper I feel completely convinced that it was true love that prompted them to get married in front of that little white chapel in Vegas. Who cares that he's 51 and she's 16?? Who cares that she makes the most disgusting sexy faces I've ever seen?? I refuse to stand in the way of true love.

What's a girl got to do?

Dedication in East of Eden

Dedication from The Little Prince

I have two favorite books: The Little Prince and East of Eden (I'll admit I stole that one from Emily James but I love it now).

One of my most favorite parts of each of those books is the dedication. They both reflect such love and respect for the person they are dedicating the book to. I want someone to dedicate me a book!! I want someone to appreciate my friendship so much that they include me in their book. Hell I would love it if someone fell in love with me and then dedicated a book to me! At this point I'd take damn near any dedication.Even if it just said " To Nat, the most annoying friend I've ever had." I'd shed some tears over that. Seriously.

What's a girl got to do?? Should I make more english major friends/journalism friends/ writer friends?? Should I marry a writer??? Although I can already tell you our personalities won't match. What's the best way to be on someone's dedication page??

It's been too long

It's been way too long since I posted! It's not because I haven't had ideas but because every time I sit down to post something I fall asleep! I don't know how I've managed to be busy this summer but thank goodness I have. That will make my summer vacation even better!

Since I've last posted I've finished one more class and started another one. Stephen has been to town twice visiting a week each time, I got to spend a couple hours with Babs last week, and Janelle is now visiting for two weeks. So I got to see all three of my best friends in a matter of weeks. It's been great. Except for Janelle and Stephen are always encouraging me to not go to work. It's hard to be responsible!!!

I'll try to catch up on all my post ideas in the next couple days. Hopefully you won't be as bored by them as I think you will. Let's start with 4 of July weekend.

My fourth of July weekend was great. It started with Rachelle and ended with Janelle with a whole lot of Stephen in between. Oh, and I can't forget Amanda! There was swimming involved, lots of fireworks, ALOT of laughter, a delicious strawberry shortcake (and I don't even like strawberry shortcake) an exciting Bees game with tons of churros and hot dogs, four wheeling, and the two cuddliest kids on the planet. I was loving life and America!

Man up

In less than 2 days I have finally realized, I cry a lot. Maybe too much. Who knew?? I mean, all my friends knew. But I sure didn't.

And this is how the realization came to me.

***pick up phone-call Amber***

Amber: Hey, what's up

Nat: nothing, I was just calling to tell you that you're a great friend.

Amber: Thanks Nat, that's sweet. What made you say that?

Nat: welllll... **voice shakes**... I was just thinking you know. You never make me feel like I am not important just cz I don't live in Jersey, and every time we talk I still feel like we are best friends.. and I just....**tears** I'm just so grateful cz not everyone is like that. And I like that I can call you and still talk to you about everything...and.....I just***more tears****

Amber: NATTTTTTT. Why are you crying!!??

Nat: I can't help it!!

Amber: Oh my goshhhhh. I can't.

Nat: well f**k you!

Amber: Well, at least you aren't crying anymore.

AHAHAHAHA. Any type of emotion makes Amber uncomfortable. But she's right. All that crying wasn't called for!!

2nd time I realized:

This morning I called Em because I had a nightmare that she was in a car crash. She called me back and told me she was okay and she wasn't in a car crash. After we hung up I had to cry a little bit cz I was so glad she was okay.

LMAO. Seriously, what is wrong with me?? When I think about all the crying I do, I sit back and laugh because I think, why did I cry about that? It's not all like emotional sobbing. A couple tears here and there. But still. I need to man the hell up.

**However, when Im crying cz my feelings are hurt. That's not bad crying or too much crying. That's legitimate. I won't ever try to tone that down.**

Glory Glory Hallelujah

I know that no one probably cares but I am so excited right now. It's 4:15 and it's the first Wednesday since classes first started last August that I can go home at the decent hour of 5 pm!

Free at last, Free at last!! I don't even know what to do. I can finally start going to my dinner groups. I can finally hit the go karts and the batting cages and actually use my pass. Don't get me wrong, there will still be some nights where I stay later doing my homework but I don't have to stay on campus until 8 Monday through Thursday!!!

And in two weeks I get my Tuesday and Thursday nights back! I did consider adding another night class for 2nd block, but after the relief I feel today. Hell to the no. I can actually hang out with my friends and go outside and do things!! I'll just suck it up and take it in the fall.

Thank you Jesus.

I might even go home and go for a freaking jog, that's how alive I feel.

(pause)

Maybe.....

I never did that

So Handro and I were looking at his triathlon medal and just staring and talking. He started making fun of me and said I would never do one because I would never commit. If you know me, you know that I hate when people tell me that I can't or won't do something. So I started getting mad. But then he made a very good point... he said," I'm still waiting for you to do your half-marathon."

That shut me the hell up. Fast.

He's right. I have said I am going to do a half-marathon and I still haven't.

That got me thinking. I hate being that person. I hate being a person who doesn't do what she says she is going to do. I hate flakes. I hate unreliable people. I hate when you have a friend and you can't depend on them. I hate being the person who is always late. I've tried really hard this year to be the kind of person that people can rely on. I like being true to my word. I like that my 3 best friends can call me and they know that if I say I will do something I do it. A big motivator for me is accountability. I don't get mad at people who hold me accountable for the things that come out of my mouth. I like not letting people down and I like committing to a task. I never want people to feel less important/ or not important enough simply because I am a flake. It just ain't nice!

I also have a lot of things that I haven't had the chance to do yet. Things that I say I am going to do but really don't back it up. I'm done with that. From now on I am just going to say things that I really feel like I can back up or at least am totally considering backing up. Of course there will sometimes be some uncertain circumstances. But most of the time I find that I can handle uncertainties with a little bit of better planning. I don't want to grow up and be the person who says," You know what, I always wanted to, but I never did that."

Anyway since I am holding myself accountable (mostly to me, cz I don't know who reads this) here's what I plan on doing/will do at some point this summer:

Beach it up in Jersey

Go to the top of the statue of liberty in NYC

Beach it up in FL

Niagara Falls

Moab with my siblings

Learn to surf/ or at least practice

I am going to learn to dominate at batting cages. This is no joke. I will dominate you.

Here's what I MIGHT do this summer:

SoCal trip with some of my ward friends (we're still working out some scheduling issues plus finding room and board for us!)

Go to the top of Coit Tower in SF

Take a small ride up highway from Santa Cruz to SF

By next Christmas I will have run a half marathon- But I am going to keep it to myself so I don't let myself and other down this time around.

Things I wil do by the time I graduate:

Sky dive

Parasail ( I really really want to learn it!)

There's obviously more things on my bucket list and things I want to do. But for now these are my short-term and mid-term goals.

Only my homies ever know my long, long-term plans. They change so much, I don't share that often.

Here's to being responsible for my actions! I won't let you down. But mostly, I won't let myself down.

The Martinez

So May and June have been very busy for the Martinez family.

Mia graduated preschool!

Handro completed his first triathlon.

Rafi graduated high school

And Felipe moved to Utah last night!!!!!!

(excuse his face, he flew all day)

It was a gong show trying to pick him up from the airport last night. Handro decided to speed at the airport so we got pulled over and it turns out that none of us really have a valid license ( I have one but it's lost). Felipe ended up having to drive us all home. We laughed and chit chatted all the way home. We were all so excited but all trying to play it cool. But he's here now and we're happy and excited to get rolling on all our cool little road trips and to show him the parts of Utah that we love. And I am sure Handro is tired of being the only boy with his sisters.